Stormy Sky

Stormy Sky
When I Walk Through The Shadow Of Death I Shall Not Fear

Monday 11 November 2019

Faith And Rest

Faith and rest are the two words that spoke to me as I read Hebrews 4, this morning.

The chapter begins like this -- For as long, then as that promise of resting in him pulls us on to God's goal for us, we need to be careful that we're not disqualified. We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness but the promises didn't do them a bit of good because they didn't receive the promises with faith. If we believe, though we'll experience that state of resting.

This is quite a mouthful, but what does it mean?


I grew up sewing then in 2003 a friend gave me a word from God. Sewing was not my calling but pottery was.

My father often told me to finish one job before I started another.  My mother, school and the church controlled me by telling what to do.  These 2 ways of teaching set up polar opposites for my life that lead me on a path of becoming a human-doing instead of a human being.    

Due to my father's teaching whenever I wanted to sew an outfit I would go to the store, buy material, pattern, notions, whatever I needed for the outfit I was going to make, I'd come home and make it.  I did this for every sewing outfit I made.  I didn't just buy material and notions in case I might want to make something later. I finished one outfit before I bought supplies for another outfit.

I carried this through to my pottery.  I bought the clay and glazes I needed to get me through a year of making pottery. This way the clay didn't dry out before I could use it. Also, I wasn't consumed my having to get things done because I had extra supplies that needed to be used up. I was at peace with my projects.

Being told what to do by the world set me up to follow people instead of God. I was a people pleaser.

These two teachings came crashing down on me recently.

My pottery improved and I sold it at local markets and online. People would ask me to make something special for them.  My people-pleasing attitude would kick in.  Not only did I agree to make it, to please them, but I also made it in their time, not mine. You can't make only one piece of pottery, potters have to fill the kiln with pottery.   In a frenzy, I would make pottery to fill my kiln.  I had lost my creativity and pottery became work not pleasure.  Also, I ended up having pottery that didn't sell.

Another way I was a people-pleaser, I made pottery to sell.  I was pleasing myself by trying to make many sales.  If my pottery didn't sell I would look at the successful potters and see what they sold, then I would make similar items that they sold. Surely that would increase my sales.  For example, if a potter sold thousands of ring dishes, I made ring dishes, of course, it was a different design,  I don't want to copy theirs. My sales still didn't increase.

I also deviated from my father's teaching to finish one project before I started another. This happened without my realizing it due to a spirit of poverty in me.

 Several years ago a potter was retiring and gave me some of her bone-dry clay.  I brought it home, put water in the buckets of clay and waited several months while the clay absorbed the water.  I then had to wedge or kneed it back into pliable clay with the proper moisture content. It took me a couple of years to use up her clay. Just as I finished using that clay she called again with more clay and glazes to give me.  It was free, how could my spirit of poverty refuse it. My husband and I filled up our pickup truck. I had lots of bags of bone dry clay to soak back into pliable clay. I used white and black clay, now I had brown clays, some turned grey others turned a red-brown when fired.  Glazes are not all the same, some run, some blend with others, some don't blend very well.  Glazes can also change colouring depending on what clay they are put on.  I needed to test these glazes.  I made a few test tiles then decided to make tumblers and test the glaze on.  At least I would have something to sell.  The problem was I had one of each colour tumbler instead of sets.  Having several of one type of cup is better than one of each type.  I also wasn't creative in the shape of the tumblers either.

A couple of years had past and I was still going through her clay.  My mother-in-law passed away and we had to clean out her house.  She was a sewer and a quilter.  She had bought a lot of material, kits to quilt, and sewing supplies and stored them in her house.  I found material she'd bought 30 years ago.  She probably forgot she had it, or why she bought it.  We also found unfinished knitted sweaters and several unfinished quilts.  Many of the supplies I was able to give away, I wouldn't have had enough room in my house to store them. I brought her unfinished projects home and a few pieces of material that I liked.  There were enough unfinished quilts to give to my sister-in-law, our 2 daughters and one for me, plus small quilts.

About a month after we had finished cleaning out her house the potter lady called me again, she had more clay she wanted to get rid of. I declined, I didn't take any more of her bone dried clay.  My mother-in-law and the potter had been raised in the depression and had the mentality that they might run out, so buy more. I call this the depression mentality.

This was almost 4 years and ago and I am still trying to finish up the clay, glazes and the sewing projects.  This summer at the farmers market, 2 other vendors asked me to make something for them. I often get custom orders. One wanted it for Christmas, the other by the end of October. Again I wanted to please them so I rushed and made a kiln full of pottery to make two items- people pleaser.

The problem is with all of this doing what people want and finishing up what others haven't two things have happened.

1)  I am exhausted.
2)  I am not using my God-given gift of creativity. When I am not being creative I become anxious to be creative.

 I turned what God has called me to do into work without faith and lost my rest in him.

I still have a few more projects of sewing and knitting to finish and a few bags of old clay and glazes to use up, but I have made some decisions.  First I am not going to make pottery to please people.  Secondly, I will not get stressed about the unfinished projects, extra material and clay that I have.  I will use it up in God's time, not mine and not rush to get things done.

I need to get back to enjoying life, being creative and rest in God. I need to slow down long enough to listen to what God is asking me to do.  He created me for a purpose and a plan and a future and that plan wasn't for me to run around like a chicken with my head cut off just to please people.

Tuesday 5 November 2019

Flowers and Life -- Weeds and SIn

This year we had one of those long cold winters with lots of snow. Many of my friends and acquaintances have had it with winter so we anxiously await the arrival of spring.  Last year winter went straight to summer.  Not this year.  The snowfalls of winter turned into the cold rain.  It seems we would never see the sun, but it always comes out. Perennials were late coming up, my new grass seed I planted last fall didn't germinate.  AND the mosquitoes loved the wet weather, breeding in every puddle they found.  I managed to get my vegetable garden in and summer bulbs planted, but decided the weeds would have to wait until the mosquitoes, and pesky blackflies either disappeared or at least slowed down enough that they didn't carry me away or drain all my blood.

I didn't get out into the garden until late June. Often when I am gardening I see many similarities between the garden and the church.  Weeds are like our sin.  They are sneaky little things that we have to know what we are looking at to even see the weeds or sin in our life.  It is funny how the weeds know how to hide among the beautiful flowers. Often they even look similar to the flowers. The grass will grow in the same spot my young lilies grow, both leaves are narrow and about 3 inches long.  There is a slight difference in colour and shape between them. It takes years of experience to be able to tell the difference between a weed and a flowering plant. I have been gardening for over 40 years and I grew up on the farm with parents who gardened.  All my sibling's also garden.  Sometimes at the beginning of creating my own gardens, I couldn't tell the difference between a weed and a young perennial.  I would pull out my bought perennials thinking they were weeds and leave the weeds in thinking they were my flowers.

As a Christian I also took many years of getting into the bible, knowing who God is and listening to His small voice to learn the difference between sin and life. 

 The other day during my quiet time with God my devotion for that day was a verse from Zephaniah 1.  I hadn't read this minor prophet book in a long time so I decided to read chapter one.  Zephaniah is only 3 chapters, therefore, I figured I mind a well read all of Zephaniah  This book is about how God will get rid of the evil from people on judgement day.  The verse that struck me was in chapter 3 verse   "Her priest desecrate the Sanctuary.   They use God's laws as a weapon to maim and kill souls."

Too many times I have had Christians who claim to know the bible but just like these people they twist it so they can use it to manipulate people into doing what they think they should do. Like the Pahariess in Jesus' day, they use God's law as a weapon to maim and kill souls.  Often these people have gotten into a leadership position, by either putting themselves there, yearning for it or having another person who abuses God's word for their own glory put them into leadership. Usually, this happens so they may have an ally or partner in their crime.  Of course, they don't see that they are sinning, They think they are doing God's will.

Matthew 7: 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but does not notice the log that is in your own eye? Years ago I was thinking of this verse and realized that if I had a real log in my eye I would be blind.  Spiritually when we let pride (sin) rule us, our pride is our log and we can't see it, but how we love to take the speck out of someone else's eye.  I have seen Christians lose their ministry because they refuse to humble themselves enough to take the log out of their eye. Instead, they kill souls by twisting the bible to comply with their needs. 

We must always ask God to examine our hearts and remove our sins instead of trying to take the sin out of others. 
We will be doing this until we meet Jesus in heaven for we also will battle with sin.




Friday 29 June 2018

Day 22 Crave- Total Dependance

Psalm 119:175

1) What did the psalmist request God would grant him (vs 169-173)? What does this long list tell us of his dependance on God?

Provide him with insight from His Word
Give his request personal attention
Rescue him according to His promises
Let praise cascade out of his mouth
Let the promises ring from his tongue
Steady him with your hand
Show yourself for he loves it
Invigorate his soul so he can praise you
Seek him out if he wanders off like a lost sheep

We need to depend on God for everything.  What struck me is that I know we are to always praise God, but I have never thought to ask God to put praises on my lips before. 

2) How does God sustain me every day?  What did He promise me in His Word about taking care of me?

I know God is with me every day and He has directed me in life, even when I am shopping I ask for help and he reminds me of what I need to buy and organizes my stops so everything runs smoothly.

He has promised me that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

3)  What can make me totally depend on God?  What promises from the Bible can I hold on to?

I need to get deeper into God's Word?  I read my bible, but sometimes I skim through it.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this devotion in my blog or just continue to journal it.  I thought I might lose my quiet time and this blogging would become a rout, just doing and not getting much out of it.  But typing it out has caused me to slow down as I can write faster than I can type.  When I slowed down it made me think deeper about the question and my understanding of God has gotten much deeper.
 
What promise from the Bible can I hold on to?  

God will never forsake me, he will always be there.  Ask and I shall receive.  I just need to ask God for wisdom in everything I do.  PRAY

Jerimiah 29:11 --I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out  -- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  (The Message Bible)

GOODIE BAG - We can fully trust God to meet our every need because He promised.

This concludes this study.  I feel I have a better understanding of who God is.  I am going to now take some time and read Psalms 119, and meditate on it.





 










Thursday 28 June 2018

Day 21 Crave - Smooth Path Ahead

Psalm 119:165

1) What is it about God's promises that made the psalmist rejoice in them (vs 162)?  How can I cultivate the same attitude towards God's Word?

He considered God's Word the greatest thing he had ever found.
I find peace and comfort in reading God's Word where I don't find that in reading anything else, only entertainment.  God's Word is a 2 edge sword, that is it alive.  I haven't thought that I rejoice in His Word, but I think that I do.  I can't live without it.

2) Why was the psalmist loyal to God's Word despite the persecution he faced (vs 167)? Why do I think did he fear God's laws more than what people of influence says?  

God's laws fit his life perfectly unlike people who don't know what God wants for him, yet give advice.  He calls these people liars.

3)  How can I "hate or abhor falsehood"  today?

I already hate falsehood or lies, but to take this one step deeper.  If I go to a person for advice they will give it, but it often is not what God would tell me.  My friends and family mean well, but often they do not inquire of the Lord of what I would need.  I need to go to God and not people to get the absolute truth.  The only reason I don't go to God is I don't trust myself to hear what God is saying. I need to trust myself that I do hear from God and not second guess what I get in my heart.

GOODIE BAG -  We can be at peace that as we follow God's Word, the path ahead of us is sure, smooth and straight.

Wednesday 27 June 2018

Day 20 Crave-- Life Preserver

Psalm 119:157

1) What was the psalmist asking God for (vs 153 - 154)? Why do I think did he do this?

He asked God to take a good look at his life and to take his side.  He wanted God to give him his life back.
I think he was desperate and had lost a lot.  He wanted to make sure God understood what he was asking and to remind God that he needed his help. He needed God to really pay attention to his problems.  

2)  How do I usually cope with tough times? Where or to whom do you often turn to for help?

Where I go to for help has changed over the years as I have matured in God.  Years ago I went to my pastor.  My husband was in a bad spot at that time and he couldn't help.  Eventually, I could go to my husband, but I also realized, through healing, I needed to go to God instead.  
I originally couldn't go to God because I didn't know who God was.  I did not know I could trust God with everything.  This was a result of wrong teaching from the church when I was a child.  I thought God was out to get me.  God has always been patient, kind and gentle with me and has healed me and changed me into the women I am now.  I am still growing, but I am not the same person I used to me, like this song by Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was https://youtu.be/K1ZgtCRO-KY

3) Knowing that God's Word can preserve my life and save me, how will I allow God to do that for me today?

I will ask God for help, not human beings. Third Day - Cry Out To Jesus https://youtu.be/JmVxRl5bc4Y

GOODIE BAG -- Choose to stick to God's Word in spite of any difficulty.

 










Tuesday 26 June 2018

Day 19 Crave-- Cry Out

Psalm 119:147

1) How would you describe the intensity of the psalmist's cry unto God in verse 147 to 149?

With so much intensity, passion and desire to the point of stress, 'help me or I will never be able to sleep' is his how much intensity he had.

2) What area or concern in my life do I need to present to God now?

I need to stop listening to the lie that I am not wanted by my family, church or everyone.  I was laying in bed last night thinking that I am now 63.  For the first 2 years of my life Mom was afraid to get near me in case I died, yet for the next 61 years, I have been using that early rejection to feel that I have been abandoned during the rest of my life.  Yes, there are times people have not liked me, most of those years were during my school years, but now only occasionally and those people are insecure.  People now say I am fun to be around and they intentionally want to be with me, not forced into doing it because they have to, but women and men do like to hang out with me.  Of course not all of them, but many of them. 

I have often thought of how those who were raised during the 30's Depression spent the rest of their lives in fear of spending money. The 10 years of lack at their beginning controlled their entire life. Our childhood can put many bondages upon us that we carry our whole life.  I no longer want the 2 years of rejection at the beginning of my life to control my life like it has, so I cry out to God for help. 

3) How much am I in faith that God will hear me when I call on Him? 

I know that God always hears me, but I wonder if He will answer me.  Sometimes I am afraid to hear His answer, afraid He will yell at me, but this is not what I have experienced by Him so why do I keep going back to that stinking attitude?  This goes back to my parents and other people who didn't want to or knew how to answer or respond to me.  God is not imperfect as people are.  He will always have the right answers.  He wants the best for my life.

I denounce the lie that I am not wanted, in the name of Jesus and I declare that through Christ's help I will live a life knowing that I am accepted and loved by God, my family and friends.  I cry out to God for help!

GOOD BAG - When we cry out, God hears us and moves on our behalf.









Monday 25 June 2018

Day 18 Crave - Tried and Tested

Psalms 119:139

1) What made the psalmist trust God's statued (vs 140)?

He has tested God's promises and  God has not failed him.  He the servant loves them.

2) In my life, why can I say that God's word is trustworthy?

God has never failed me in anything.  He has always been there despite how I act.  Unlike my mother, he has not sent me to my room until I was a good child.  He is compassionate and understands me because He created me for a purpose on this earth.

3) How much do I trust God's statues? What practical steps can  I take for me to deepen my trust in God?

I wish I could say I trust in God's statutes 100% but I don't.  I let my mind go back to my old sinful ways and feel sorry for myself.  

So how can I stop this?  Fist, think before I act.  Second, when I am in a bad way I need to stop and go and sin no more.  I need to realize I am sinning against God.  I see it in others, but don't always see it in me.  I need to recognize my sin for what it is.  It is a pure and simple sin, nothing more.  

GOODIE BAG - God's promises can be counted on, no matter how impossible the situation.