James 3: 7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue - it's never, been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God or Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in His image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth.
There is a saying that has always puzzled me.
"You can't see the trees for the forest" When you stand and look at the forest all you see is a mass of colour of greens and browns, but as you take a closer look you notice the forest will have a multitude of varieties of trees, beach, birch, polar, pine, spruce, to name a few. They also come in a variety of sizes, from young seedlings to old mature trees. Not only are there trees in the forest, but there is also undergrowth of plants, such as ferns, trillium, jack-in-the-pulpit.
People are very much like the forest. Most people in our lives we will only see the forest, the external. Once we get to know a person we will begin to see the complexity of what makes up a persons personality. Like a forest the further we walk into someones life the more of that life is revealed to us.
Due to our complexity we can be sweet and lovable one minutes, the next take a strip out of someone. This happens in my marriage, mostly when either of us tired. We let our guard down and Satan plants hatred in our mind. Everything happens so fast. The damage is done before we know what has happened.
I find this hurt easier to forgive, than a deceptive hurt. We are tempted and unlike Jesus we might sin.
I have a friend who is a very gentle sweat soul, whom you wouldn't think would hurt a fly. In the beginning of our friendship she didn't hurt me. As I got closer to her, or walked further into her forest she would say negative comments about the way I looked, spoke and even my pottery. Each time she did this I would have this jolt of pain in me. She said as if she were complimenting me.
I could not understand why something that came across as a compliment would hurt me.
I had gotten so far into her forest that I became blinded by the trees of her personality. The hurts got so bad I had to step out of this forest.
Once I was out of the forest I noticed I was not the only person she attacked in her soft gentle way. She would criticize others saying they need to change. The further I got away from her the clearer the ugly trees in her life became.
The bible talks a lot about the deceptive person. I always thought it to be a vile wicked person who purposely hurts people.
Deception is someone who hurts in a deceiving way. Most times this person has no idea what they are doing. They themselves are very hurt and as the saying goes hurting people hurt people.
As a Christian, for my protection I need to walk away and pray that this person sees the error of their ways. Other times I would need to stay friends with the person, but realize they will hurt and to not take it personally. I need the discernment from God to know what to do in these delicate situations.
As a disclaimer I am not perfect and too many times I have hurt people too. Most of the time is when I have been hurt through deception and I don't know what is happening so I just lash out. I need to not walk blindly into a persons life, but to get to know the true person and what they are capable of doing.
The most important thing it remember, "What Sally says about Suzy, says more about Sally than Suzy."